Most ridiculous Catholic clothing EVER

Pope cat disapproves of your outfit!

The excessive need of religious representatives to dress themselves up in the most ridiculous costumes has always been a bit of an amusement. Catholics are quite big at the ludicrous fashion show themselves. Apparently it’s necessary for Catholic authorities to look absolutely foolish or at least wear dresses and hats that any other male being on the planet wouldn’t be caught with outside of halloween or carnival. What’s making them so amusing is less the blatant violation of all laws of fashion, but the utter seriousness with which the clergy will prance around in these.

So, I browsed through some of their attire and present you the top 10 of the funniest Catholic outfits.

10. The Devil’s Wear

I just love it when it baps the back of their heads! No really, it’s the kind of clothes I’d give to the super-villain — in a comic.

9. The Catholic Head-Condom

…called Zucchetto. This is from the people who refuse to acknowledge the point of condoms. But maybe I am mistaken about this and it’s simply missing the propeller?

8. Chasubles

All of them. They ALL look like some kid put on mommy’s curtains to play princess.

7. This papal chasuble

This is like a toddler’s first fashion disaster. After wrapping up in mom’s curtains to play princess, they grabbed the oriental carpet from the living room floor as a cape. Last attribution were mom’s kitchen gloves to make a nice, fashionable queen-hat. And then, of course, the pretty queen-princess needs red slippers like Dorothee from the Wizard of Oz. Wonder whether he occasionally tries to click his heels together and hopes to awake from the nightmare that he is the acting head of.

6. The Biretta

Nobody else would walk around with a magenta vacuum cleaner bag on their head.

5. The Mitre and Other Alien Hats

I think it’s a cross between pacman and a popcorn bag. Maybe it’s just a folded napkin, though? These things can grow to ridiculous height and shape (see #2). It kind of makes them look like those sci-fi aliens with the egg-shaped head and the huge foreheads.

4. Common Curtain Altar Boy

Literally every procession of altar boys looks like an exhibition for last-century curtains. It’s hardly enjoyable to make fun of these poor kids these days, considering what a good deal of them had to endure, but I sure can bash the outfitters. Or the parents – because what loving woman would dress her son in such an outfit, unless she really doesn’t want to risk him turning into a strong, confident man.

3. The Mozzetta

Or as I call it: “The magenta curtain triumph” – most men wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a magenta dress and lacy curtains.

2. The “I HAVE THE BIGGEST HAT” Outfit

…and the biggest carpet, and the laciest curtain! While Catholics seem to think these clothing-attributes give you special authorities, other people think they hit the top scale of silly. Apparently the pope is a ginormous golden alien-bat which badly wanted to be a bridesmaid. Sad tale.

And the winner is:

1. Daisy Pope

Nothing will ever beat a man performing senseless rituals trying to look all serious in a big pink dress.

—- Ooooone second! —-

Here is one outsider who’d also well deserve first place: In all this tough carnival Catholic business, one group really lost HARD on the fashion scale! I admit, it’s not REALLY catholic clergy, but if you run around like a medieval court-jester for the pope, you have a right to be on the list. Especially if you look like this:

Switzerland presents: It’s the papal army of clowns!

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You are absolutely welcome to contribute more ridiculous outfits!